ED relapse warning signs

I’ve been looking through some of my old stuff from when I was an inpatient nearly ten years ago, and found this list I wrote with the psychologist I saw at the time about warning signs for relapse into ‘severe’ ED again.  It’s actually still kind of useful!  Some of it isn’t relevant any more (eg college-related) but a lot of it still is, and it’s helpful to think about. I’m going to be 30 in December and I really, really don’t want my 30s to be the same as my 20s, which have been mostly influenced by ED thoughts/behaviours,  both directly and indirectly.  I want to be free from the constant brain arguments, restrictions and urges to binge/cut, and I want to be able to do things spontaneously without stressing about how it’s going to impact on my daily routine/meal times.

I’m trying to make my own ‘treatment plan’ atm based on the inpatient ‘programme’ I’ve followed several times before, DBT skills, acceptance and commitment therapy ideas and solution-focussed which a friend recently introduced me to and I really like the concept of although it’s kind of hard with ED because I genuinely can’t think of times when it’s not an issue apart from running ultras, and even then it’s only because I’ve ‘earned’ the break from the restrictions by running over 40 miles.  But I really do want to change and learn to mange it properly this time- it’s been 17 years and I’m exhausted with feeling like I’m going in circles but getting nowhere.  Hope this list is helpful to some people 🙂

Yellow

  • Not sleeping much at night
  • Drinking a lot of diet Coke
  • Being irritable/snappy
  • Sleeping during the day
  • Weighing regularly
  • Only eating at certain times
  • Change in exercise habits- less intense exercise, lots of walking/swimming
  • Spending a lot of time on social media
  • Eating in a certain order or with specific plate/cutlery
  • Feeling ‘hyped’, can’t switch off
  • Feeling sick/dizzy
  • Getting obsessed with recipes or cooking programmes
  • Skipping breakfast or lunch
  • Using a lot of salt

 

Amber

  • Eating meat
  • Fixating on certain foods (often not healthy) eg reduced calorie chocolate, lower calorie sweets, low fat biscuits etc
  • Cooking food for other people
  • Staying in, watching TV, not doing anything ‘active’ or productive
  • Focussing on nutrients of food instead of actual foods eg need to eat 10g of protein, doesn’t matter what the protein is but also needs to be under 100cal per 20g of protein
  • Taking on several jobs/courses at once, need to be busy all the time
  • Neat handwriting, being unusually organised
  • Don’t want to cook or be around food in front of people
  • Not interested in reading, writing or drawing
  • Finding it hard to concentrate
  • Feeling shaky all the time
  • Prioritising walking over anything else eg walking three hours to college and back every day to ‘fit it in’
  • Bedroom messy and not cleaning because of stuff all over the floor, feeling overwhelmed
  • Driving too fast or erratically
  • Feeling like time is speeding up or slowing down
  • Getting angry more often
  • Feeling like there’s no point
  • Becoming fixated on numbers about food- timings, grams of nutrients in food, weighing foods, number of chews etc

 

Red

  • Not eating in front of people
  • Passing out regularly
  • Losing weight even after periods have stopped
  • Dissociating more than usual
  • Sleeping a lot of the day
  • Not going out for days at a time, don’t want to see people
  • Not exercising at all
  • Thinking about food all the time, having binge dreams
  • Lying about food or weight
  • Eating less than twice a day
  • Skipping college
  • Getting angry or snappy talking about food
  • Having panic attacks or similar several times a week
  • Tired all the time, not feeling ‘with it’
  • Fixating on a certain weight (usually around 7.5 stone) as a ‘magic’ solution
  • Throwing up not just after a binge
  • Going several days without eating
  • Not feeling ‘real’
  • Only thinking about food or weight

One thought on “ED relapse warning signs

  1. Pingback: Trying to make sense of my brain…again! – Rainbows and Recovery

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