Just a short post today, sorry, found it really hard again and haven’t got the energy to go into a lot of detail. Woke up feeling rubbish which didn’t help then really struggled to get going. First few laps were OK, plugged into Bowie and tried to keep moving but felt tired and drained really quickly and still feeling rubbish.
From lap five, I felt really horrible and kept wanting to cry for no particular reason. Had a few ‘cry breaks’ and seriously considered quitting but a running friend caught up with me during lap six and semi-dragged me round in time for the cut off. Laps seven and eight were mostly walking and felt really horrible, both mentally and physically drained, dizzy and nauseous.
After the race, I felt really horrible and had a total mood crash which wasn’t ideal because the psychiatrist I’m seeing at the moment chose that minute to call and see how things are going (not good!). So I’ve got an appointment with her as soon as I finish the runs 
need to get my brain in gear by then. But this evening, a lovely running friend invited me out for a drink which was really nice of her and really needed to get out for the evening, even with crisis numbers from the psychiatrist I wasn’t feeling great so good to not be on my own. Still feeling rubbish and v tearful though really hope tomorrow goes better!! Every day is a new day…
Thoughts from an Iridescent Starfish 